My chillest breakup

Mutual enthusiasm about my penis is not a relationship

She said, “hm, it seems like we mostly got together due to pandemic reasons and don’t share a ton of...interests? Like we spent a lot of time fucking out of boredom and we did have fun doing that big art project together but we’re both less bored now and the project is done.”

And then I said “ok well it seems like the default outcome is that we continue to have kinda boring hangouts for the next six months, and then break up after we get kinda resentful of one another.”

And she was like “yeah.”

And I was like “we could just try breaking up now to gauge how it feels and see whether we have a sudden moment of clarity or wistful sadness or whatever.”

And she was like “whoa, people can do that?”

And I was like “let’s! Ok, when I clap my hands, we’re broken up.”

And then I clapped my hands

And then we hung out for a while and later I was like “ok, do you want to get back together”

And she was like “nnnnnot really”

And I was like “cool! Good thing we checked”

And she was like “wait can breakups really be this chill?”

And I was like “idk, is something going to make it unchill?”

And then we sort of looked at each other for a while but in a chill way

And then I left.