I'm buying a castle
To use it for porno
1.
The way that the show Love Island works is, you select a cadre of hot dumbasses and put them in a televised ape cage and force them to play gorilla sexual politics.
I didn’t want to like Love Island. It’s a reality show! And I’m supposed to be upper middle class! But it’s such relentlessly Orwellian game design.
The central conceit of Love Island is that everyone is on the show “to find love”. Attendees must find a partner and “be a couple”, which is underspecified but includes sleeping in the same bed. Sometimes they fuck.
Because of how the cage stage is designed, everyone is visible to everyone else at all times in a camera panopticon wired for sound. And, if you don’t “find love”, you will be eliminated. Which is to say, everyone here is forced to pretend—at all times—that they’re playing a dating show, while they’re actually playing Survivor.
No one is allowed to acknowledge this brutality. They’re being recorded at all times. There are night vision cameras in the bedroom. (One bedroom, singular, that they all share). Everyone is up in everyone else’s business because there is no privacy. There is nothing to do other than trying to fuck each other, and gossip about who’s trying to fuck whom. The only thing that matters is securing the highest status mate, and literally everything you do is the talk of the town the instant you do it. Any gaffe will follow you forever.
We have recreated the natural environment. It is the lowest common denominator. It is so compelling to my ape brain.
The producers of the show will sometimes break up couples by fiat, which naturally launches free radicals which then destabilize other couples.
Imagine being the guy who—even though everyone knows there’s a gameshow gun pointed at you off-camera—needs to plausibly signal, both to his prospective mate and for external consumption, “look, although we’re both aware of the systemic pressures here, my romantic interest in you isn’t due to the gun aimed at us off-camera. But rather, in this environment of sleep-deprivation and deliberately maximized emotional brutality, I am…falling in love with you.
And although I also said this to the previous three women, this time I mean it.”
God, what a difficult lift. Luckily, it’s not important that they believe you, only that they feel it look sufficiently believable to an outside observer. Because you’re in Hunger Games, and so your popularity with the audience will determine whether you live.
And then after that nonsense has mostly stabilized, they send you to Succubus House, where a cadre of totally unconnected hot dumbasses win lots of money and get to join the show if they fuck you.
🥰
I feel like the culture is ready for erotic reality television.
2.
So I’m buying a castle in Japan to use it for porn.
There are many abandoned properties in Japan which are for sale for $1. This castle costs significantly more than that, and, has a lot of roof damage, and has sat decrepit and vandalized for a while,
But, it’s still a castle! We can fill this thing with cameras for panopticon surveillance, and enact our erotic reality television, vision.
(And it’s in a crummy location! Which would matter if we were doing anything other than shooting erotic reality television.)
Imagine, if you will, a live-in, competitive fuck-game, televised for viewer entertainment.1
The culture is ready. It’s time.
They say to write what you know.